hmmm from a good day to a....................

2nd time im bloggin today.... jus got home frm school, wash my toilet, showered and shaved.. yes finally i shaved....... hmm well suddenly lots of tots overwhelmed me.... agnes ching held chun wee, thiam hock, tabitha, liping, erica and me back after class today and tok to us.. noting too surprising given tat she's been sayin she wanna tok to our group... i was jus listenin to her lecture til someting she said startled me and started all these trains of tots overflowing me... she said tat when she mentioned my name to her other classes, the girls were like sayin im a nice person with no-temper... no-temper? hmm wondering who were the girls anyway... but well seriously... i hav no-temper? maybe like 4 yrs ago it's true for me but now... ever since i left jc and suffered that horrible depression i've changed alot... i started realising when i flared up in camp durin ns one fine day.. it was then tat i decided tat somehow or another i mus revert back to the same old me... however, it wasnt successful even til one.. somehow i still feel tat im really really short-tempered and gets frustrated so easily... i wasnt like tat in the past... still remember mrs mohan's comments tat i seems emotionless... tat i was such a carefree happy-go-lucky person tat sometimes she wonders if i'm serious bout schwork....... where has tat doron gone to? tinking back i realised tat doron in the past is one who doesnt care a hoot about wat goes on around him, nor bother bout wat others are doin... always taking upon himself to do tings even beyond his own obligations, staying cheerful regardless of wat happens and always smiling 24/7........ i could jus stay there smilin like a retard even when people are hurling obsenities at me and saying bad tings at me... i jus stood there smiling and lookin as tho they're speakin punjabi.... hahah alrite i do flared up if my family or loved ones are dragged in.. but if it's jus about me.... hahah they can say all they want... my theory is tat wat's the point of retaliating? they'll stop once they get tired of seein u standin there smilin when they're pokin fun at u... if u were to show any retialiation, u'll be fallin into their trap stoopidly and satisfyin their hunger to taunt u!! hahah =p well im still takin lightly wat people say of me.. but it seems like these days every little ting irritates me easily... which was not the way i was previously... it takes alot of convincin on my part to calm down and start tinkin straight and it takes even more to show tat im not affected at all..... i can no longer hide my emotions as well and this really is killin me... altho i still smile alot, i can nv keep the smile goin.... wat's happening? y m i gettin so irritated, frustated, fed up, or wateva so easily??? guess i'll jus hav to work much harder in achievin my goal of revertin back to the same old doron.... the doron tat believs in jus stayin happy in life and nv too bothered bout wat's goin on... the doron tat has such good control of his temper and emotions and feelings that he can at lest contributes to makin tis world a little better place to live in...... good luck to the doron now........